Gilbeys Si Maji. A Tale of Derailment and Heartbreak
Five Years in Five Weeks. No.1
Haya basi, mpenzi mpenda maji.
Karibu sana. Keti nikupe udaku😂😂.
So, this is the story of how I fell for Yellow and eventually got my heart broken.
A series.
Look out for the 5in5 tag at the bottom and on the title.
I’ll number them so that it’s easy to follow.
As I write this, it’s 4:18 am, Sunday.
My leg hurts like a bitch I probably sprained it yesterday.
That’s a hospital bill tomorrow. Fuck.
I broke my glasses, and that shit cost me 10k. Fuck man.
I guess Imma be blind for a month or two as I get my money together.
And I texted Yellow.
Drunk as fuck.
An embarazzzment. Gai😂😂.
You get the gist.
Let’s take it back to when it all started.
Saturday 5th September 2020
I’m at home busy minding my business.
When I get a call.
It’s K.K.
She’s inviting me to a bike ride with a bunch of other friends of ours.
I’m like okay, that sounds harmless and I’ve missed being with people anyways¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
So, I’m like, yeah. I’m down.
I finish up what I’m doing haraka haraka and go change.
I even wear my signature cologne.
I am a man of Nyadhi buana!!( I’m not sure I spelt that correct but wharevaaa )
I must show up in style!
Also K.K is cute and I like her.
I would shoot my shot,
but I need to get over Yellow first.
Kidogo kidogo, naona plans zimechange.
Ati now it’s no longer a bike ride, we’re going to Karura.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
But mimi nani.
I’m a big boy. Ata ni vile tu kuna curfew country wide.
Otherwise😂😂😂
Acha tu!
Mark calls me, they are waiting for me at the court gate.
Mimi huyo nikachomokaaaaaa.
Ata siambiani nimeenda wapi.
Kidogo kidogo the weather was like, “walk Karura, haha, jokes on you”
Lo and behold it starts raining.
Hehe these negros hawatambui.
Ati now we’re going to Ridgeways tujue the way forward😂😂
AGAIN
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
But aight si ni we get food and hangout then come back ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Or so I thought.
Tumefika Ridgeways, tukabuy food.
Everything is going swell.
Alafu mark akataja ati anataka kubuy drinks.
Heh this nigga is supposed to drive us home!!!
I did not come here to die btw, pls.
But I play it cool, you know, kujikaza ki mwanaume.
Kidogo kidogo, naskia Edu derailer #1 amesema ati twende place ya Nyama.
Ruaka!!
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Kwisha. I try rationalize like I always do.
I’m like “eh wase si huko ni mbali, tutarudi saa ngapi”
Kuchezea mbuzi guitar tu.
Hakuna mtu ananiskiza save for Joan.
Haya basi twende kuenda. Iko nini?
We get there.
Music is booming.
The place is empty.
You know, usual Rona times.
Tukakaa.
Kidogo kidogo, Gilbeys ndio hio kwa meza.
Ata si ile nyama tulikuwa tumekujia.
AGAIN
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Now here is when I made all the wrong decisions.
First and foremost.
I didn’t have Supper the previous night.
In the morning, I only had tea and two pancakes.
And had two chicken pieces from Galitos.
No hydration in sight.
So, I’m practically on an empty stomach
Alafu nani anachapa hio Gilbeys kabla ifunguliwe.
Yours truly.
A fucking clown of a man😂😂
Shots shots. No chasing. We men of nyadhi don’t do that here.
It was less than 20 min,
700 ml imeisha you guy.
It started with laughing at everything.
Then things started to get wobbly
I went to the bathroom and did the mirror routine we all do when drunk
If you know you know😂😂
From that point on things became hazy.
I remember downing a tray of fries
And a tray of meat too.
I then remember holding K.K’s hand and asking her to take care of me
I also tried to kiss her at one point
She was like Noooop Boy you drunk
Get out of my face😂😂😂
Next I remember us in the car driving home.
Everything was faded as fuck.
And when in the car I told K.K I like her and that at one point I wanted
shoot my shot but didn’t follow through.
She was like tell me this when you’re sobber and I’ll believe you
And I also vaguely remember her saying she found me attractive too.
Wink Wink.
Now things start going to shit.
I was coming back home to my parents house!!
Luckily my interrogator of a father has travelled.
My mum was in her office working.
I got in and went straight to bed.
Spent like 5 min there
I then started feeling nauseated and I got up went to the loo and
locked myself there.
Long story short almost an hour in,
I threw up all the food I had eaten.
I’ll tell you for free😂😂
Never drink then eat!
Eat then drink!!
While in the loo my mum came to check up on me.
Luckily I had the door locked.
I was surprisingly sharp for such a faded drunk.
I vaguely remember just knocking the door to show that I was alive.
She hadn’t figured out I was faded yet.
And Thank God btw!!!
So now to get to the heartbreak, I need to back track a little…
Stage 4 of grieving the loss of my relationship with Yellow.
Crash and Burn
It has been 3 weeks since Yellow and I called it quits.
I have been going through it badly.
My appetite has been shit. I no longer eat as much as I used to.
I get random waves of sadness.
I miss her badly.
At first we had broken off all contact, but that had been too difficult for me
so I got back in contact with her because I knew no one else could possibly
understand my pain right now.
Earlier today, on instagram she posted some fire pictures.
Previously, I got to see all these kinds of photos before anyone else.
I slid into her DM and asked her to bless my gallery, like old times.
Her reply __ “Right away sir!!”
20 New WhatsApp notifications.
When I tell you this woman is so fucking beautiful I don’t think you
understand just how stunning she is!!
I spent the rest of the day obsessing over the photos and videos she sent me.
A move that would cost me later.
Okay now, back to drunk Adrian.
I’m done throwing up.
I freshen up and get into bed.
Nap for an hour or so
When I get up still drunk AF, all I can think about is Yellow.
I text her.
Confessing my love for her for the millionth time,
trying to convince her we could make this work,
saying all the things I couldn’t say to her sober because it
made me feel needy and broken.
And maybe I am broken.
Who am I kidding.
The truth is, at this point I am very needy and very broken.
It’s clear that this is getting worse and worse the longer I have access to her.
I can’t handle being in contact with her anymore.
I black out.
Sunday 6th September 2020
I wake up at around 4:00 am.
I go through the mess I made when I was drunk.
Broken glasses,
Sprained foot,
The end of my Relationship with Yellow.
It’s clear what I need to do.
So I reply to the messages she’d left as replies to my drunk texts.
Making it clear that I realize that she’s right and I need to move on.
And that I’ll make conscious efforts to move on.
What we had was amazing.
But that’s just it, “it was amazing”.
And its over.
Stage 5
The Purge
I know I have to get rid of all channels that give me access to her.
I start with Instagram. I unfollow her main and spam acc.
I also remove her as a follower of mine.
I change my account name and make my account private.
I need some time off Instagram. Next our chats and photos need to go.
But before that I need to take you back to where it all started.
Week one of our story…
See you next Monday : )
Till then stay safe and drink responsibly!